A tad to bold and short on tact, this short run issue Peeler didn't make the grade.
Read all about it!
Newspaper advert- 3 years ago
“Ladies and Gentlemen, stand amazed. Shoppers and shop owners feel comforted. Police and security, budget your next investment… I give you: The Boiler Plate 9000! The latest design in police and security protection and crime resolution. The BP9000 series is North America’s answer to crime and punishment. Yes, unlike older Peeler models, this upgraded diamond in the rough sports all the same great features but instead of investing money into fashion or synth-emoting programs, the BP9000 is 5 times stronger and is all business. No more arguing or meaningless banter with low class perps, the BP9000 moves in, assess and takes action based on the latest encoded rules, laws and jurisdictional policies. Yes, BP9000 wastes no time since the solutions are built in and nearly as quick as human thought to resolution. Bad guys are either quickly rendered unconscious or put down as the situation and local codes allow it. Even removing expended malefactors from the scene and relocating the remains to local morgues or security facilities. Stop by Smith & Boilers today for a full free demonstration. Don’t lag behind the other guys, be the first in your precinct to lower crime faster and with less clutter. The Boiler Plate, judge for yourself or better yet let BP do it for you!”
Touching the Sky
Three years ago a new Peeler model, the Boiler Plate 9000 hit the streets in a few North American cities. In this particular story this new Peeler was called Officer Bolt. Bolt, as with the handful of other new Peelers were decommissioned and almost destroyed to a robot after only 8 weeks on the job. Old Borealis Times reporter Sam Shrift put it this way:
“Captain O’Malley, in a short sited attempt to short-cut justice and take the law out of our duly elected judge’s hands made the odious decision 8 weeks ago to spend a small fortune of our hard earned tax payer’s money on the latest greatest Peeler Model from none other than the same old fail-faster company, Smith and Boilers. O’Malley gambled our money and lost… big time.”
And further more:
“This malfunctioning ½ ton nightmare walks the streets with an iron jaw, truncheon hands and built in heater. This hot plate auto-whatever 9000 in 15 out of 15 encounters killed the victims without even so much as a nod to human direction. It’s the law according to his royal highness ‘Lord Bolt’!”
“I’m not going to stand by a let our protection be replaced by this bought-broken series of judge, jury and executioner gone wild. I am calling for an immediate recall and our elected officials better listen or we the people with take matters into our own hands. That’s right, ‘Lord Bolt’ if you’re listening we’re coming with the law or we’re coming with pitchforks!”
Well so called Lord Bolt would have ended up as slag soup had it not been for the quick dealings by Stuart Varney, the very wealthy investor who had put up the scratch for the BP9k in the first place. He showed up at the plant were Bolt was to be melted down, paid a few blokes off and took O’Malley’s monster to one of his mansions. There he had S&B owner Rolfe Smith do a little reprograming and the monster became a butler, tails and all.
This lasted for a few years. Guests were both frightened and delighted at the barrel chested Bolt. ‘His’ affectations and odd but endearing manners charmed Lord and Lady alike. But it was not to last. Lord Varney passed and Bolt bolted for he knew the authorities would melt him down if found in the manor with his dead master. Using the social skills bestowed by Varney’s generosity, he made his way in the unfortunate alleys of Old Borealis’s lower districts. Bolt did many odd jobs over the last months but has recently taken on with a ship, the Flying Circus where he hopes to make good use of all his skills and finally be the master of his own destiny.